So, you’re getting married? Congratulations! You’ve made it this far. You’ve survived the dates, met the in-laws, popped the question, and soon you’ll be making sacred vows at the altar of a church or registry office. But something stands in your way. The stag or hen do.
You might think your options are limited in these great, liver-busting traditions. Option one: get slaughtered. Option two: stay in with a cup of tea and play scrabble. But let’s face it, neither option does justice to the 21 st century in which you happen to be living.
Option one is certainly the oldest and most venerable; even Jesus, though himself an eternal bachelor, saw fit to turn water into wine at the wedding feast, and he got so drunk he was crucified. No, that won’t do. Neither will option one, since a quiet night in is just as alienating to some of your friends as vodka-induced amnesia.
Option three? Escape Rooms: get locked with your fellow stags and hens inside a themed room full of puzzles. It’s the best of both worlds, in that you can turn up appropriately whiffled, laugh at each other, and emerge genuinely pleased with yourselves if you do actually manage to escape. There are plenty of escape game companies in London, but we, of course, are the best. Our Games Masters-the people charged with introducing you and helping you through the game-have met hundreds of stag and hen dos since 2014, when our snazzy London Bridge venue first came to Tooley Street.
I myself have seen stags wearing anything from tuxedos to rags to, well, almost nothing (which is sometimes delightful and sometimes regrettable); and hen do’s invariably turn up with giant inflatable willies, usually named Percy. All our games-four across two venues-contain a mixture of puzzles, some logical, some spatial, some physical, and some involving timing and communication. No stag or hen need feel left out, for there is something for everyone, and I’ve yet to encounter a group that didn’t have a wonderful time.
As you can imagine, stags and hens produce a unique set of challenges for the unassuming Games Master. As such, please don’t turn up with alcohol, as tempting as that may be, and please don’t turn up too drunk. Some of our games involve laser beams, one of them involves laser guns and a slide, and all of them require brain power.
It’s not in your interest to turn up so drunk that you imagine shooting Dave in the face with a laser gun to be a good idea. Nor do we appreciate having to shout over up to 14 people during the crucial and exciting introductions and stories we provide. Please don’t use any physical force on any of the puzzles and, above all, please do turn up on time.
That being said, stag and hen do’s have been some of our best, funniest customers. I’ve seen grown men weep over difficult puzzles. I’ve heard a bridesmaid’s fart through a solid wall. I’ve seen hens sacrifice their own mothers for the greater good. I’ve seen grown men and women confuse left and right, column and row, and ‘ simultaneously’ for ‘ instantaneously’ . I’d like to put this down to tipsiness, but I end up blaming the state education system. And Essex.
Marriage is a puzzle in itself-why not get some practice in? We have four games. The two at London Bridge are a little more ‘ old school’ , and involve more padlocks. In Pharaoh’s Chamber, you must find the sacred treasure before your souls are cursed; in Room 33, steal an ancient vase from the British Museum before the time portal closes. The games at Angel are set in the distant future. In Project DIVA you must disable an artificial intelligence robot gone rogue; and in The Dark Side of the Moon, old foes from the Second World War now haunt the moon, and must be destroyed.
Come, stags and hens. We need you!
By Oscar Yuill
